The Way We Like It

I’m watching early Smoky Mountain Wrestling and I’m going to pretend that I’m going to review it on a weekly basis like all the other weekly things I promise to do. I promise my imaginary readers these things and I’ve already got imaginary e-mails titled “Where’s this weeks Alf Stewart/ Clothesline/ This Is My Army We Will Destroy You of the week?” These things take time and usually get published in Teen Vogue or the French Beano before they make this blog. That's where the money is, the French are crazy for the Beano. "Un Minnie La Minx, cest manifique"

Buddy Landel, Paul Orndorff, Robert Gibson, Jimmy Golden, Dirty White Boy, Brian Lee.

Seriously, that’s a sweet little roster right there. Add Jim Cornette and The Heavenly Bodies to the mix and we’re there, wrestling heaven. Jimmy Golden comes out to the Black Crowes’ “Hard To Handle” and he’s a heel but we could never hate him. Brian Lee’s music’s boss too but I’m still not sure if he’s quite pulling off the top baby face/ Heavyweight Champ role.

One of the great things about early Smoky Mountain is the amount of WCW job guys they have. The likes of Rip Rogers, Barry Horowitz and Johnny Rich had been someones elsewhere before they slipped down the ladder in WCW but they’re back to being sort of roster guys here, even though they almost always lose. They get a bit of mic time, Johnny Rich and his “cousin” Davey (The Party Patrol!) even get talked up as being genuine competition for The Heavenly Bodies.

Other job guys from WCW are still jobbers but they get a lot more offense in. In WCW they just got dropped on the head by Vader or power bombed onto a gurney by Sid but the likes of Joe Cazana, Scot Sandlin and Tommy Angel get the chance to do more moves than just the odd punch. Angel looks a quality wrestler and, with the exception of his balding mullet, I’m not sure why he wasn't given a gimmick or at least a little push.

One guy who was given a little push was Mark Kyle who became KILLER KYLE, a sort of gangster who came to the ring with a violin case. He obviously couldn’t talk so he was a mean and silent type and he wasn’t a particularly decent wrestler so he mainly just did power moves. But hell, Mark Kyle’s on my TV screen winning matches which can only be a good thing and he’s wearing a shirt so we don’t have to see his hairy shoulders.

The highlight for me though has been the one (so far) appearance of Paul Lee. Paul was (IS) obviously a huge Ric Flair fan and basically copied his look and moves. As a jobber in WCW he just got beat up so all you saw was a Flair look-alike in a flea market robe and shades. But in Smoky Mountain Lee was allowed to do a bit more and excels doing a perfect flair bump over the turnbuckle. He then runs along the apron to the next turnbuckle and waits for Robert Gibson to throw him off. It was pure beauty. After getting clotheslined outside the ring he even took a few steps then fell flat on his face. As a kid I’m sure I thought Lee was Flair on WCW Worldwide and had just had an off day, getting battered by Tom Zenk or Firebreaker Chip in less than 2 minutes.