Viva el Jan Molby: Vs Toulouse

This mornings paper picked the team for me so I'd sort of be cheating if I did my own, even though it would have been the same:

Reina
Finnan, Hyypia, Agger, Arbeloa
Benayoun, Alonso, Mascherano, Riise
Kuyt, Crouch

Actually I'm going to change Riise and put Babel in because my Magus, The Great Soprendo, just contacted me from the fourth dimension and told me so.

Also, Rafa obviously reads my blog because he's sold Paletta and made Insua's loan deal permanent. Hey Rafa, leave some comments lad.

Viva el Jan Molby: Vs Sunderland

Number of starting eleven I got correct: SEVEN

Looking into my crystal ball I can see some ancient scripture lost in the almost forgotten past (the previous post): "I don't think they'll risk Gerrard so hopefully Mascherano takes his place and not Sissoko."

Ok, so I got that wrong. I can't believe Sissoko actually scored and even more amazing, it was a 20 yarder. I picked seven out of Liverpool's starting eleven which isn't too bad. But my past self knew he'd got carried away with the changes he made and he was correct. He'd just eaten a Fudge ice cream and I think it messed with his mastering of the black arts.

At least I got the forwards right and so did Rafa, as Torres and Voronin played great together. If Torres could only improve his finishing (or if goalies dived instead of just standing still) we could have a real chance this season. Whenever I saw him play for Athletico Madrid he seemed to get in all the right positions, sometimes making the chance for himself, but it seemed to take him three or four shots to get a goal. The great thing about him and Voronin is that they work real hard for 90 minutes and they really unsettled the Sunderland defence.

Benayoun's agent will be pissed and poor old Crouchy didn't even make the subs bench either. Both will probably play against Toulouse on Tuesday, hopefully Carragher and Sami are ok because if both are out there might be a start for Paletta and I don't think the world's ready for that yet. I think the world's ready for the debut of Ronald Huth but if the planets are aligned it could be the end for all of us. I'll have to take all this into consideration before I pick eleven out of eleven and you my imaginary readers will then truly believe that I'm a protege of The Great Soprendo aka Geoffrey Durham aka The Great Soprendo. YES!!

Viva el Jan Molby: I SEE THE FUTURE

Looking into my magic crystal ball the Liverpool team for tomorrow will be:

Reina,
Finnan, Carragher, Agger, Riise
Benayoun, Mascherano, Alonso, Babel
Voronin, Torres

I've probably thought way too hard about this and made way too many changes. Benayoun's agent apparently said he may have to look for another club as he's not playing, so that probably means he'll get a start. Babel cost £11 million and he hasn't started a game yet and if he can't get a start against Sunderland when is he ever gonna get a start? But he played mid-week for Holland so that may go against him.

I don't think they'll risk Gerrard so hopefully Mascherano takes his place and not Sissoko. Even worse Rafa better not pick Mascherano and Sissoko, which would be ultra defensive when hopefully there's no need to be.

Up front I originally went for Voronin and Crouch but then I opted for Torres because he's our main man and he should be given a run of games to help settle into the team/country/league/second coming expectations of the fans.

Arbeloa's been playing really well at left back but Riise seems to somehow always find a place in the team, even if he was last seasons most consistently below average player. Maybe they'll rest Finnan for the mid-week game against Toulose and play Arbeloa at right back. Maybe Hyypia will play. Maybe Gerrard will get another injection for his toe and play, but end up having to get a prosthetic foot like Kerry Von Erich. Who knows who Benitez will pick. I KNOW FOR I HAVE A CRYSTAL BALL AND WAS TAUGHT IN THE BLACK ARTS BY GEOFFREY DURHAM AKA GREAT SOPRENDO.

Consolation Prize

I was thinking today that Atlantis should change his theme music to Atlantis To Interzone by the Klaxons. He could have a couple of the CMLL ring girls come out with glow sticks and just start gyrating like there was no tomorrow. Then Atlantis could stroll out and the crowd would go mad. All the technico/techno kids would love him again and everything would be alright with the world. Even the rudo loving old guy in the front row wouldn't ring his bell, replacing it with a couple of glow sticks he'd join in the fun.

After this wonderful lucha daydream I tried to think of other wrestlers who I could give new theme tunes to. The best (and only one) I could come up with was The Great Khali having Move Any Mountain by The Shamen as his music. I'm not sure if it should be his entrance music, maybe just an epileptic fit inducing music video would suffice. I think I'd have the CMLL ring girls involved in this one too. I'd sort of keep it similar to the original video but with Khali and the ring girls replacing the band. Khali could maybe push the whole of the Himalayas into the Grand Canyon, just to show his destructive capabilities. Either that or have him do a shitty double chokeslam on Kane and Batista. In fact if you look at the original, the guy at the back moves a bit like Khali.

LIVERPOOL SEASONATHON

I’m going to try to pick Liverpool’s team each week. Although re-reading that sentence worries me because it means I’m going to have to do at least one post every week. In fact, with all the mid-week (hopefully) Champions League games it’ll probably be two posts a week. With the huge squad we’ve now got and Rafa Benitez’s rotation policy it’s going to be quite difficult.

Since Rafa’s been in charge, especially the last 2 years, he’s rotated the starting eleven to differing levels of success. The difference is this season instead of Kromkamp, Nunez, Josemi or Gonzalez as our backup players we’ve got Babel, Voronin, Lucas Leiva and Sami Hyypia. I mention Lucas Leiva, even though all I’ve seen of him is a couple of youtube clips and 45 minutes of a friendly against Shanghai or someone. The guy’s the Brazilian Under 20’s captain and cost £8 million so he’s gotta be good hasn’t he?

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Every time I watch Sky Sports News and at the side of the screen it’s got all our summer transfers, I see Leiva and £8 million next to his name and hope to god he comes through for us. That’s a ridiculous amount for someone who’s our fifth choice centre mid, behind Gerrard, Alonso, Mascherano and Sissoko. Even guys like Benayoun and Babbel could play as attacking centre midfielders. How he’s going to start 10+ league games I don’t know, considering that already this season Mascherano and Sissoko have not even made the sixteen man squad, let alone the starting eleven.

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The other guy it’s going to be interesting to see how he does this season is left midfielder Sebastian Leto. Again, just going from youtube clips and a friendly, he at least looks better than Gonzalez (not sure if he’s even left yet). He looks like a better long term prospect than fellow Argentine Gabriel Paletta. I also think another young Argentinean, Insua could have a good future with us, especially since todays news about Heinze not be able to move to us. Personally I’m not bothered by the Premier leagues ruling, he started off great for United but after a serious injury he just looks like an average left back now, lacking a bit of pace.

I’ve been impressed by Arbeloa’s start to the season at left back but also hope that Insua gets some games early on this season, rather than a few run outs in meaningless games near the end like last season. Hopefully there won’t be any meaningless league games at the end of this season.

Anyway, I’ll wait till after the mid-week internationals before I pick Liverpool’s team for our game away at Sunderland on Saturday. Btw, I spent a while thinking of the title for this post and that was the best I could come up with.

RANDOM WRESTLING

Super Porky vs. Gran Markus Jr (Hair vs. Hair) CMLL TV 1998

This is the battle of the two finest bellies in the whole of CMLL. You couldn’t really call it a battle of the heavyweights because although they’ve got the weight they haven’t really got the height. Neither of them is that tall, I think Porky’s about 5ft 4 cubed. I think these two would be more upset if this was a pies vs. chocolate cake match rather than a hair vs. hair match. Both of them have actually had health problems in recent years because of their weight, a couple of weeks ago it said in the Wrestling Observer that Porky collapsed in the corner of the ring in a match against Sean Waltman and that he's had a history of heart problems. I hope he's okay, he's one of my favourite wrestlers. Porky’s brother Brazo de Oro is the king of the hair match, he probably hasn’t had to pay for a hair cut since he was a kid. Because this is a big match they get 2 ring girls each, although these aren’t the hot HOT CMLL ones that were around from the 00’s. They’re still alright and everything but they haven’t got the ass and smiles the later ones had. They’ve also got seconds (towel boys), Negro Casas with Porky and Mascara Ano Dos Mil with Gran Markus. Casas looks even creepier than usual, if that’s possible, with a t-shirt-shorts-small white boots combo.

Once the women have left the ring Gran Markus goes to work and throws Porky outside. Porky goes straight for the sweet sweet blade real early and soon his face is a bloody mess. While getting back in the ring he hands the blade to the ref who pockets it. That’s wrestling kids! I remember someone mentioning once on this here Internet that there was once some mythic six man tag match were the luchadores all bladed, with the ref passing the one blade around between them. Probably never happened but if it did I’d love to see it. Not only is Porky bleeding but Mascara Ano Dos Mil is beating him up from outside. But Rey Mendoza isn’t having any of it. The dad of the Villanos is in his usual ringside seat and he tells him to stop it. I think Mendoza is sort of like a commissioner in CMLL because he’s always in the ring presenting belts etc. I like to think of him as a cross between a commissioner and old sports star Casino greeter. Even after Rey Mendoza’s told him not to, Ano Dos Mil trips Porky up. Gran Markus body slams him and gets the first fall with a submission.

Negro Casas helps up a bloody Brazo De Plata. Did I mention that Casas has a knot tied at the front of his shirt? CREEPY. Rey Mendoza, hands behind his back like an old policeman, sends Mascara Ano Dos Mil to the back. This gets a big reaction from the technico fans who all help Ano Dos Mil by pointing to the exit. Start of 2nd fall and Gran Markus holds onto the ropes for a pin but Casas, from outside, pushes him off. Now Casas gets sent to the back. Markus goes for a sunset flip but Porky jumps and sits on him for the 3 count.

Before the 3rd fall starts the doctor checks Porky’s cut, he begs the doc not to stop the fight. Porky tries to get it over quick with a big clothesline and a Big Daddy Belly that knocks Markus out of the ring. PORKY TOPE!!! Markus gets up and knocks Porky down and then does a plancha . Mistico’s got nothing on these guys. SPINNING DIVE FROM PORKY!!! Markus clotheslines Porky for a 2 count. He must be tired from all the dives because Porky didn’t kick out, Markus just rolled off him. They do it the other way round and Markus at least kicks out. Porky goes up to the top and dives/belly flops onto Markus for the win.

While Gran Markus gets his head shaved Super Porky is at ringside covered in blood, kissing a young fan. He gets given a small white bag filled with Markus’ hair. It looks like the kind of bag people use to put their dog shit in. He holds it high in the air, proud of his victory.