Back In Mempho

I Just remembered this and can't believe my last post was 2023 and about Mrmphis 87. 

I still haven't finished that year but I'm definitely going to post a few times this month.

Have faith in me reader, I promise within the next month you will have -

1) a report from memphis 87

2) a clothesline of the week

3) Paul Lee Watch!

Memphis Monarchy News

 "The King is dead, long live the black Prince." 

Brickhouse Brown has stolen Jerry Lawler's crown and has just delivered the above beautiful line. It doesn't get any better than that. 

Clothesline Of The Week

Well now folks, I've just seen a 10 on the Road Warrior scale! And it's that man Brickhouse Brown who's running the show now brother! Came out with Lawler's music playing, still with the crown.

Poor old Ed Mattox just got flipped over at the hands of old Brick, well the arm. But as always it the receiver not the giver who gets the award, so Ed salutations, congratulations. Brickhouse may have got the 1,2,3 but you're a winner with me! 

Still 87 Memphis btw, sometimes it be that way baby!

Beautiful Bobby

 I was watching some 84 Mid South the other day and Butch Reed almost decapitated a guy with a clothesline. I thought about the good ol' days of "clothesline of the week" on this here blog and almost posted something.

Then Super Porky died and I thought about all the laughs he gave me and I almost posted something.

Then Bert Prentice died and I thought about all the onscreen laughs he gave me on Memphis and Music City tv and I almost posted something.

Then Bobby Eaton died and I'm posting something. What a great wrestler and by all accounts a great guy.

Trying to think of another tag team that lost a member but carried on regardless, didn't miss a beat. Mainly cos Bobby and Cornette were so good. Watching their Mid South run now with Condrey and looking back from where I am today it's difficult to appreciate how great and groundbreaking the Midnight's double team moves and finishers were and just a tag team that were great workers but barely spoke themselves, had an absolute prick of a mommas boy as their manager who could talk till the cows came home and went off again in the morning.

As I type this Condrey's at Jim Ross' desk speaking on the Mic!! Something fishy is going on, Cornette's missing. Even Bobby speaks, "foul play goin' on roun' here!" And they've got the Rock N' Roll up next in a title match!

I'm watching this on the WWE network and the lack of original music hurts the most with these two more than anyone else (maybe with the exception of Handsome Jimmy).

Terry Taylor is with Ross on commentary. Maybe it's cos I saw the Red Rooster as a kid before his territory days but I just don't buy him as a top baby face that the women love. You can tell the women love the Rock N' Roll more, like they're really worried they'll get hurt. 

In the last few weeks his music video's been played on repeat and he's been attacked and strangled by the Russians, so badly that he foamed at the mouth. None of the women in the crowd seemed that bothered really. And then he's been piledriven by Burch Reed just before his Tv title match against Krusher Kruschev, so badly that he got beat easily, wearing a towel round his neck. I think he'd make a much better smarmy narcissist type heel. 

When he was given flowers before the match by a woman on behalf of "Mary, a little cripple girl and Sue, another girl who couldn't come to the matches" he said to thank Mary Sue, like it was one girl. No wonder Butch Reed ripped the flowers to shreds and gave him a piledriver. I bet both Mary and Sue were made up with that.

Anyway, back to the match and the Midnights are in control but Ricky gets a roll up but the refs not watching. Then a very ugly woman jumps in the ring and hits Rocky with her handbag. It's Cornette! Classic line from Ross...."Jim Cornette has come to the ring dressed as a women. He really did come out of the closet". 

Great stuff.

After this Duggan v Kruschev ends with the Russians shaving Hacksaw's beard (oh the depravity!) Taylor tries to make the save but my 84 star player Butch Reed grabs him, rips his neckbrace off and throws him into that unforgiving steel turnbuckle. Then he slaps a sleeper on while Landel and Saito keep the baby face jobbers at bay, until Magnum and Robert Gibson make the save, Robert just in jeans cos obviously he was in the shower after his last match. Magnum is fully clothed, so obviously's a sissy who had to wait for help. Mr Wrestling was right!

This was again great and to be fair the women were worried about Taylor. A bit.

Oh and Butch Reed does get a Clothesline Of The Week after all. On Lanny Poffo, who sells it like he's having a stroke, heart attack and an allergic reaction all at the same time. Incredible, and the recipient does actually get the award, so well done Leaping Lanny. And RIP Beautiful Bobby.

When Rock N Roll Was King

 So, unintentionally I watched a couple of moments of Rock N' Roll Express' career back to back and it made me think how quick things change in this wrestling business.

It's January 1984 and Bill Watt's, on the advice of the two Memphis Jerry's (Lawler & Jarrett) has got a little something for the ladies in the form of Ricky and Robert. They air a promo video two weeks in a row, the lads driving a sports car, playing a jukebox and winking at the camera.Watts is foaming at the mouth on behalf of Mid South's soon to be large female fanbase. The world's their oyster and The Rock N' Roll are ready to throw it down the neck in one big gulp.....

it's June 1996 and we're midway into WCW's Monday Nitro. The two original horsemen still in the promotion, Ric Flair and And Anderson, are together in tag team action. Out of the blue, as their opponents, getting a brief run on the big show are the Rock N ' Roll Express. Looking like a pair of washed up 80's lead singers fronting their solo project, time and wrestling seem to have passed them by. 

The 4 of them work a long for mid 90's tv match that wouldn't look out of place on a mid 80's big show. It's not their best by any stretch of the imagination and you're waiting for it to really kick off but it never quite does. The crowds not really with them anymore, and spots that would've popped them 10 years earlier are barely acknowledged. They've still got the same hair, same gear but the fans have moved on. And in all honesty the moves aren't as slick, but after 15 plus years of doing them you can't blame them.

You know full well if this was in an armory somewhere in the South this would be incredible, the crowd so loud you couldn't think. And the 4 of them will build on that, feel the buzz and noise of the fans. But WCW mid 90's fans don't clap and holler for the babyface to make a comeback, don't yell at the referee when nefarious heels get sneaky punches in behind his back. 

Only a year or so before this in Smoky Mountain they had the old school fans eating out the palm of their hands. And maybe that's it, the moment wrestling changed pretty much for good, the death of the territories and the beginning of the Monday night wars, where Nielsen ratings are God and building a feud, heartfelt promos and selling tickets for the town's weekly show don't quite matter as much.

Restless In Wrestleland

Just watching random wrestling on YouTube and wwe network.
Highlights include a Gordy v Dr Death match from 86. Just non-stop 100 miles an hour, balls to the wall. Great stuff, double count out finish.

Also watched some Stampede, which is a promotion I barely watch. Enjoyed a bit of Gama Singh heeling it up. But the guy could work too, great matches v Benoit and Viet Cong Express. Then a Gama Singh music video, beautiful stuff.

Also a WWF match with a Just For Men Dino Bravo throwing around Madonna's future boyfriend, Louie Spicoli.
Louie seemed to work everywhere but never really got a big break, just crap like Rad Radford. Just an early to mid 90's guy who you hoped would be a somebody but was always in the right place but at the wrong time.
Sure I remember reading that at one time the When Worlds Collide match was going to be Art Barr (viva!), Eddie Guerrero and Spicoli vs Blue Panther, Santo and Octagon but they changed it to a normal tag match.
Watching 91 WWF 29 years on is crazy. This is the stuff I was loving as a kid, proper glued to it.

Jake's messing with Warrior's head, locking him in a casket and then burying him. But weirdly Warrior's getting over his fear of the Undertaker but also teaming with Hogan vs Sarge and his Iraqi sympathisers. Mad looking back now, thinking what the fans who saw Slaughter and The Sheik in the 80's WWF would make of all this. Some great promos but not a great Summerslam main event. As a kid I really didn't get Sargeant Slaughter and why he turned up and was a main eventer straight away. I didn't know anything about his earlier career, was proper pissed off when he beat the Warrior for the belt.
Without the Iraqi war you wonder what would've happened in 91 WWF. Big Sid got totally wasted, being a guest referee. Maybe he would've been used better, a proper singles feud with Hogan or Warrior. Maybe they were scared he'd be cheered against Hogan if their feud went longer.
And Flair's coming in too. Seriously how easy should it have been to make this great with Hogan, Warrior, Macho Man, Sid, Flair, Undertaker, Perfect and Jake around?
Haha got to say still love all this Jake/Warrior stuff.

Downtown Born and Downtown Bred

Ok, it's all happening in Mempho 87. Things move fast in this place, a week on from my last post and now Tanaka and Diamond are teaming together! They agreed not to fight each other and split the 5 grand they got for taking off The BT Express' mask. Obviously take Bruno's commission off the top of that.
Jeff Jarrett's got a neck brace on but has still gone to the gym or at least the basement gym in his dad's big mansion on the hill. Actually I've just noticed the curtains he's sat in front of are the studio ones. Unless Jerry Jarret had material left over after decorating his basement gym and used it for the studio. Very possible. He says he's been a pro for a while now and has saved 5 grand up in his little gold encrusted piggy bank and wants to go against Diamond AND Tanaka!! He misses his shadow Billy, he's up in Lexington Kentucky, getting high in the southern air and according to Jeff he's depressed. Lost his daddy last year and has now lost his job cos of Bruno and his dastardly army. So a handicap match, they've got 10 minutes to pin Jeff.
Bruno's ringside with Lance and Dave discussing the monetary side of this proposal and who should turn up but the King of Memphis himself! He cries it home a bit more on Billy's behalf, he has to stay in Lexington Kentucky to look after his mother, so that's why he's not wrestling anywhere else and wants to stay in Memphis. Bruno starts playing an imaginary violin (don't blame him) and wants more money so Jerry offers up another 5 grand, man I need a calculator!
Out comes Eddie Marlin, who as Jeff's grandfather is unsure about booking this match but as the matchmaker can smell dem dead presidents.
Lawler signs the contract then asks someone to read it to Bruno, which pops the studio crowd. So Jerry's contract says he'll pay Downtown Bruno 5 grand if Jeff loses the handicap match. Tatanka tells Bruno he can still refuse to sign it, slightly worried that the King is now involved in this transaction. Then Lawler says he'll be in Jeff's corner and as long as Bruno's men play by the rules he won't interfere but if they don't he'll beat all 3 of them up! Tatanka was right to be worried.
And if all this wasn't enough for us wrasslin fans to rush out and buy a ticket, Lawler's on double duty wrestling Austion Idol in the main event. It's a baseball bat on a pole match!
Bruno is now running the show like he always thought he was, he's got that fast patter going now coming out with some great lines. I feel a bit sorry for him that Memphis 87 is now only remembered for the Lawler vs Idol hair match and another heel manager, Paul Heyman. Watching this now Memphis 1987 is Bruno's year and should always be remembered as that. Heyman's done some taped promo's and one after the matches with Randy Hales but he hasn't been in the studio yet. Not sure if Bruno gets ran out of town, hopefully he doesn't have to play second fiddle to Heyman.

IN MEMPHIS YOU CAN'T TRUST ANYONE

"Lance, you know friendship is hard to find in this business." So says Jeff Jarrett.
We're still in Memphis 1987 grappling fans and as I type this update Jeff Jarrett is chasing Paul Diamond around the ring, Benny Hill style.
But Diamond's a good guy I hear you cry, well there's a five grand bounty on BT Express' head (well mask). It's Downtown Bruno's hard earned money, he wants to prove that BT is actually Billy Joe Travis and the fact that BT does Billy's exact same moves and follows Jeff everywhere ain't just a coincidence after all!
Diamond was teaming with Jeff and BT but turned rudo on them and pulled BT's mask off. To the surprise of nobody it's Billy Joe and Diamond demands the money off Bruno. But one of Bruno's lieutenants Pat Tanaka claims he did it and also wants the 5 grand. So Jeff and Diamond get into a fight, then Tanaka attacks Jeff but then attacks Diamond! Man alive!!
So all this means it's Jeff vs Pat Tanaka around the loop and the winner gets Paul Diamond. Excellent stuff.
Show finishes with Boy Tony & The Hunter Vs Vic Steamboat and Bucky Seigler. Tony and The Hunter are two of my Mempho 87 faves. Don't know what ever happened to The Hunter, decent worker and bumps around and seems ok on the mic too. Think Tony just never left the area apart from refereeing a bit when Memphis joined up with World Class.
I'm so old and brain addled that I can't remember if Vic is a legit relation of Ricky. The dark recesses of my mind say Ricky's name is Richard Blood so he can't be. Fun match that cuts off before the end. Id guess Boy Tony did the job cos he's a good dude and a loss or a hundred won't hurt him.

MID SOUTH ULTIMATE MASSACRE

A football with a key on it.
2 boxes.
Paul Diamond in one locked box with a baseball bat, Johnathan Boyd in the other with a baseball bat.
Mid South Ultimate Massacre.
Fabs v Sheepherders.
New Zealand national Johnathan Boyd has just explained all this to me, with the help of Lance Russell's studio mic, from way back in 1987. I'm totally sold on it, sounds fantastic. The Fabs now look like washed up teen heartthrobs, Steve refusing to accept the baldness, sporting a buzz cut with rat tail, the Tennesse rats still happy to follow their pied piper. The Florida Everglades Skinner gimmick awaits him in the land of McDisneyland. Stan's still great but has a tache and cap on, just not giving a damn but his luck's in, Cornette's offer of a 2nd chance at tag team superstardom can't be far off.
Boyd's so good here, I'm not really sure where he ended up, a run in the NWA then he disappeared as the McDisneyland came calling. Boyd doesn't do head licking, only head biting and assisting with blade jobs Yo.
There's too much great stuff going on here, Lawler showing great testicular fortitude to come back after bursting a ball at the hands of Austin Idol & Tommy Rich. And who's he called on to assist him in his attempt at sweet revenge? Only one of his biggest arch rivals, AWA World Champion Nick Bockwinckel. Can he trust him? Hmmm not sure.
Add to that a loser eats chocolate cake with ex lax on top and boy is this a doozie of a card. Jarrett & Travis v Big Bubba & Goliath. Bruno's obviously favourite to be on the toilet for the rest of the night. Bruno's stable is awesome, also including Boy Tony, who still loves Boy George, even after the hits have dried up. That's dedication.

Clothesline Of The Week - Jim Jamison

Ah yes, time for a weekly installment of clothesline of the week. I'm sure you all remember it's the taker not the giver who receives this coveted accolade. Today's jobber with a sore neck is Jim Jamison, given to him by the monster that is Big Bubba aka Tugboat/Typhoon. But this is 87 Memphis and the boy hasn't even been a deck hand nevermind a tugboat captain, hasn't even farted in the wind let alone become a natural disaster. Its Bubba & Goliath v Jamison & John Paul (still hanging around for some reason). Downtown Bruno is desk side, spitting out smack on behalf of his Downtown Connection that poor old Lance & Dave have to listen to. Jamison takes it like a pro, almost stands to attention, saluting Bubba's dominance, hit so hard he forgets to bump. Lance to Bruno - "Bruno, you're giving me a headache, why don't you shut up for a while."
"You better go and help them, they may not be able to read the exit sign." Classic

Jim, well done, salutations you beautiful perennial jobber to the Memphis stars, you're a winner today.

In Memphis Everyone Can Hear You Scream

So I'm sitting here, dozing off watching the women's football world cup. Anyway I clicked on a Twitter link to a blog and thought how quaint, how very 2005, I used to have one of them and talked to an empty stadium about the wrasslin.
That catch as catch can, loaded glove, blade in the mouth territory wrasslin daddy, the best around. So.......here I am. Lets go back to the rock (n' roll express) one more time!! Oooo mercy!

Memphis 87
I'm actually typing this on my phone, my how technology has changed me. But one thing that hasn't changed is my love of the mempho wrestling. I've just recently got through 1986 which was the year of way too many jobber/undercard tag teams! Onwards to 87, for some reason I haven't got this year on disc but who really needs them anymore as YouTube has pretty much every non wwe show on there.
They did a great set up by having Tommy Rich cost Lawler the match by colliding/elbowing him on the apron. Lance and Dave weren't sure if it was deliberate but reader I did. Tommy's been getting a bit upset about not getting a title shot while Lawler's always getting them against AWA champ Nick Bockwinkel. Don't people remember that Tommy is a former NWA world champ, beat Harley Race. Come on Eddie Marlin, where's his title shot??
Speaking of Eddie Marlin, the Rock N' Roll RPM's are out calling him grandad and that he's protecting his grandkid Jeff Jarrett and his best mate Billy Joe Travis.

The Rock N' Roll RPM's are taking on John Paul and one of the Bryant's. I think there's 3 Bryant brother's but this ain't Jerry of Memphis Vice "fame", they were one of the many tag teams of 86. John Paul came in too as a tag team with the more experienced Ric McCord. Like alot of the teams he got an early push, then was just a glorified job guy, usually having his partner do the job after McCord left him on his lonesome. And that what happens here Mike Davies gets the pin on Bryant. Jarrett and Travis come out to build their feud with the RPM's, explaining they're inexperienced but ready to go and Jeff's dad and grandad ain't gonna help them one bit.
Emily Arthur comes out, she's feuding with Downtown Bruno. God knows why but it's fun. Guess that's why! She must be someones girlfriend or something because she's not a wrestler, keeps saying she's a computer analyst! Apparently she's been doing alot of training with Lou Winston and Jerry Bryant (The Memphis Vice) so she should be just fine.

"Jerry Lawler, having been the heavyweight champion 4 times I can understand the fervour which you feel about becoming the champion for the 1st time". That can only be the great Nick Bockwinkel. He talks about Lawler backstabbing his friends (Rich and Austin Idol) to get the title match, which is slowly building up the big feud of the year. Thanks Nick.
Downtown Bruno's a year or so away from understanding all of this, and while he is an obnoxious squirt of a manager, he hasn't got in the Cornette/Jimmy Hart groove yet and is just throwing everything at the wall, hoping something sticks.
There's a six man tag, Tojo/Goto/Sato against Jarrett/Travis/Tanaka. I love Tojo and the Japanese have been here a long time now under his tutelage, brawling on tv every week. I'm not sure how much they've learnt while in the territory, stuff to take back to Japan as their careers grow in the 90's. Hopefully how to get rats to pay for your food and a place to stay in every stop around the territory loop. They're the important things. Wow Lance just admitted to ending the show a minute early, so we didn't get a finish to the 6 man match. He takes that extra unexpected minute to thank Randy Hales for the hard work and good job he puts in commentating at the arena shows. While Lance praises Randy, Tojo and his oriental crew make their way back to the dressing room, disappointed with a no contest due to Lance's timkeeping but even more disappointed at the lack of American blood shed by their 3 foes.

They Can't Hear You Scream In Florida 84 (But in Memphis they can)

Man, I'm a sucker for punishment so am gonna watch some more Wrasslin from Florida in 1984. But only a little bit....

This Warrior tag team have done a little promo. They're juiced up blonde guys apparently called Steve and Jim Warrior! It looks like they're getting a little push but then get absolutely destroyed by The Russians (Neidhart & Darsow), treated like complete jobbers. I don't know if this was a sign of the times in Florida, that trained amateur wrestling could easily beat the roided gym guys but it did surprise me. The Saint, who is sort of their manager, puts on a little glove which looks like a fingerless golf club but one punch from it campacitates the Warrior brother with ease. IT'S LOADED! Dutch Mantell runs in with his bull whip Shu baby and clears house. I realise that I must've watched this last time cos all the stuff after it I've definitely watched. I'm done with Florida for a while, think I need some Mempho action in my life.

Yes!!! It's mempho wrestling 1991 and I feel a lot better, getting 7 years away from Buddy Colt and Jesse Barr. I love Gordon Solie but that's about it. It's a good time for Memphis, the sons of the two biggest stars are coming through, Jamie Dundee and Brian Christopher. But we're not supposed to know that Brian is Jerry's kid. "You people know me, I'm the best in the world". Bizarrely, Terry Funk forgets Tojo Yammamoto's name and stalls for about 15 seconds trying to remember it and they keep rolling but he never remembers it.

 Jeff Jarrett & Eddie Gilbert vs Steve Austin & The Scorpion
Wow, can you guess who's getting beat here? Austin is so ready for the major leagues I almost think Chris Adams offered his wife as a sacrifice in the hope he'd get a WWF run in a few years time. I love Eddie Gilbert but just want him to turn on Jeff. And Jamie "Ice Ice Baby" Dundee is Austin's and the Scorpion's manager. Dundee, Austin and Gilbert are 3 of my favourite 90's wrestlers. By the end of the decade one's the main man, one's dead and one's bitching about his pay off for the one WWF PPV he worked. But god I love all 3. Oh yeah, Scorpion got pinned.

Lawler comes out to talk smack about the Texas wrestlers with Jarrett and Gilbert, it's so easy for him. But Eddie hovers behind them with heelish intentions. Jeff stumbles over his promo like usual, then Eddie steps up to the plate and kills it. I want a ticket for Monday night after that. Eric Embry and Tom Pritchard are the Texas wrestlers. Dr Tom is the biggest Roddy Piper impressionist in wrestling and there's a few. Don't get me wrong, I like the guy but every time he ruffles his hair it reminds me.

Lance Russell's taken the money and is doing the syndicated WCW shows but Dave Brown holds all this crazyiness together. I don't think there's a better guy ever to pull a disgusted face when the heels say something a bit naughty. Reader, I'm going to tell you a truth or two now. I really don't get Billy Joe Travis or Eric Embry. Good luck to both of them and all that, but both are pretty throw away and non descript. Embry can't be too far away from a motorcar accident and Billy has got about a decade left in him. Don't get me wrong, they're a million times better than the majority of 1991 wrestlers but personally I'd take Buddy Landell or Tommy Rich and a fair amount of other southern wrestlers over them every time. For the last year Billy Joe has just come across as Jeff Jarrett's kiss ass best friend when the USWA was also doing TV in Texas. God that was awful. Thankfully half way through the year it's finished, or at least my DVD's haven't got Michael St John cutting between Memphis and Texas pretending it's all live.

At the end of a Bill Dundee match his son and Steve Austin come out. Austin's got a loaded glove (see the Saint, Florida 1984) and he beats the hell out of Bill. He's a bloody mess but still has time for a call to arms promo. Gaylord and Dirty White Boy couldn't do the job and Bill ain't the biggest in the world but he'll beat Austin's brains out, if that's what it takes to get his son back. My favourite thing about all this is how Jamie calls his dad "Bill". "Take a good look at this face Austin, cos one night you're gonna wake up and it's gonna be standing over your bed and I'm beating your brains out". Did I mention I want a ticket for Monday night?

Random Wrestling

Man, I feel like posting about that good ol' wrasslin again brother! Maybe just for today, who knows, maybe I'll be back again in a few years. Anyway, I was looking at this blog for the first time in a good while and noticed in 2008 I did a little post about Florida 1984 and scarily enough I'm starting this here night, in the year 2015 BT (Before Trump) watching Florida 1984! I really think I must've managed about 3 discs worth of it in the last 7 years. But man I've been busy, what with this, that and the other. So anyway, let's get right back into it! Let's bleach our hair blonde, tape a razor blade to our wrist and hang around gyms waiting for our guy to turn up with the steroids/ somas/ horse tranquilisers, cos it's mid 80's wrestling and that's what happened (I think).

Ok, Gordon Solie runs this show unably assisted by the grim faced Buddy Colt, forever staring off into the distance, seemingly daydreaming about collegiate/ amateur wrestling and college/ amateur wrestlers who are now pros in Florida. Oh, and if they played a bit of football too, well that would be nice. Looking at old pictures of Colt the wrestler, with bleached blonde hair, I can't believe this is the same guy. Anyways, Jesse Barr is giving another of his really unconvincing, stuttering promos. He hasn't got it, move on. Dory Funk jr, Ric Flair and Solie, amongst others, are trying to make us believe he has but my eyes tell me differently. Flair comes out in Barr's corner, he's up against Larry Hamilton. Brian Blair joins Solie and Colt ringside. Blair says Barr's natural style is greco roman and he would've gone the Olympics but turned pro instead! It's all amateur mat based stuff and the pro werestling is rough around the edges. Barr finishes him off with a sort of cradle suplex into a pin which I have to say looked pretty boss. Flair and Barr talk smack to Brian Blair (who mentions that he's just got back from Japan, although sadly not rocking a Ribera jacket).

Flair vs Rhodes $1 million challenge match - Starrcade 1984 - watch at Eddie Graham Stadium.

Now it's Bob "Mr Personality" Backlund cutting a promo about wrestling the winner of the Flair/ Rhodes title match. According to Solie Bob's got backers who are willing to put up a $500,000 bond to secure the fight. I can't imagine who these backers are, maybe Bob was the original Nigerian Prince e-mail scammer. As we cut to commercials, Backlund and Colt discuss the local bus timetable changes and what funerals they are attending this week.

I guess the 70's must've been a very different time cos former world champs Backlund and Funk jr are as boring and as miserable on the mic as someone whose just been told he's got 1 day left to live.

Gordon now tells us that Sweet Brown Sugar used to be a high hurdler and running back. Hopefully someone channel surfing who usually sneers at this fake fighting, pro wrestling lark will hear that one of the carny brethrin can actually do real sports and then become a fan. Let us hope so.

Colt suddenly wakes up out of his amateur wrestling daze and spouts out that the Russians eat our food and drive our cars! A call to arms indeed. The Russians are Neidhart and Darsow managed by The Saint. Now Neidhart actually first visited Russia when he went to a track event as a shot putter. So see, real sport is bad and turns you communist kids. So strap a blade to your wrist or in your shorts or under your tongue and be a pro wrestler instead!

Now it's Superstar Graham vs Barr. Superstar ain't like Backlund or Funk jr, he's still the promo king baby! He's in a weird position here, just seems happy for a job and money and his past glories seem a long way from this bald headed Bruce Lee wannabe posing in the ring. But he's still great and prepared to bump around. To be fair, Barr looks pretty good here and ends up winning using the ropes for the pin, then he cracks Superstar over the head with a chair.

It's back to Gordon and Brian Blair and more missing Florida kids. Cue Mr Blair. "I know I'm going to be out there looking for children and I hope you guys are too". And on that note we move on.

let's begin again

PAUL LEE WATCH

Yep it's that time of the week again folks for another match from the archives of the man, the myth, the legend that is Paul Lee. When I say time of the week grapple fans I mean time of the year or biyearly as the last one of these humdingers was 7th April 2008. I had to google what the word was for every two years and askoxford.com told me it was biyearly. Not sure about that, I probably got unlucky and instead of asking an Oxford professor I got some drunk sitting on a park bench or Oxford Utd's star centre forward whoever he may be in 2010. If it was 1985 it would have been John Aldridge and I wouldn't trust him to give me the right answer. Dean Saunders maybe.

Anyway, it's back, Paul Lee Watch and all I had to do was put a Smoky Mountain DVD in my DVD player and away we go. Jesus H Christ, he's up against the Heavyweight Champion Brian Lee!! Dutch Mantell mentions that Paul might well be Brian's illegitimate child which made me chuckle. Our hero points to Brian's belt, PAUL LEE WANTS THE TITLE BABY! Sadly I doubt this is a title match as Paul has never ever won a match in Smoky Mountain so I doubt he's the number 1 contender. Brian Lee's music is awesome but I'm still not sure about him as heavyweight champ. He's 6,5 plus but I'm never sure if the locals truly believe in him like they should do, maybe it's because he's from Florida, I don't know. He wins me and them over every now and again, me particularly when all his promos about coming to towns involve him talking about how fit the local women are. This week he talked about the good lookin' women of Benton, Tennessee and how his good friends Tim and GIBSON told him how pretty they were. Getting White Lightnin' Tim Horner's and Rock n' Roll Robert Gibson's seal of approval must surely mean there's some real beauties in Benton!

Paul goes for it early on but ends up getting gorilla pressed by the champ. The flea market Ric Flair then gets control with a rake to the back but then Brian no sells our heroes fierce chops that Jeep Swenson probably taught him to do. Then Paul does what everyone's been waiting for with a perfect Flair turnbuckle bump! He lands on his feet, runs to the next turnbuckle and goes for something high risk that only he and Flair know about but Brian Lee catches him and powerslams him onto the hard, unforgiving canvas. Personally I think Paul's done by now and if I would have been in this Southern School Gym/Armory in 1992 I would have ran to the ring with tears in my eyes, begging the match to be stopped. Thankfully the champ finishes him off with the CANCELLATION, a sort of screwy Razors Edge neck breaker that went a bit wrong but looked all the better for it. Down but not out Paul Lee lives to fight another day and you may read about that day right here soon (2 years time).

A Message From Our Leader

Hello people of earth stop
I write to you from a new decade stop
Nothing has changed as far as I can tell stop
I still watch wrestling stop
I can't stop stop
I may write about it here again stop

And Candy Came Too

getting high in the Southern air

MR BELDING

BOOM!

Oh and Rodney Napper took an hellacious clothesline from Action Jackson on Memphis TV from February 1989. He did his 360 flip and it was beautiful. Painful but also beautiful. Thank you Rodney, I hope in 2009 you can still take a clothesline man.

No more heroes anymore?

I heard today that my man Joseba Etxeberria has signed a new contract with Athletico Bilbao where he'll play the 2009/10 season for free. I wish I was a Basque so I could play for Bilbao. Ok, they haven't had a lot of success in recent years but the love of the club players like Etxeberria and Guerrero have and the love the fans have for those players is great to see in todays money driven world of football.

For about 5 years now if I'm flicking round the channels and I see Jerry Springer I always have to check it to see if Jamie Dundee's on it. But he never is. Well, until yesterday. This world can't be so bad in 2008 if some dude from England's flicking around the channels and see's a topless Jamie Dundee with a big "EVIL" tattoo on his belly talking about how he's a racist convict and is playing lonely women for cash money and a bed to sleep in when he gets out. Of course he slept with the niece too and her lazy ass skateboarding boyfriend comes out but Ice Ice Baby rips him a new one (although he did gas badly in the process). It's all a work and Dundee and Springer can barely keep straight faces. But who cares it's fun, which I think describes why I like wrestling but it's rarely fun anymore. Dundee and Springer have just transported the Memphis TV Studio into the Springer Studio, Jerry playing a sleazy Lance Russell (he even holds the mic the same way). Anyway, Jamie ends up with the niece and finishes with the line "I ain't rascist, I've got a colour TV". He'll probably be back on the show in another 6 months, maybe as a two timing white supremacist or a Nazi who slept with his sister. How anybody can forget him is beyond me. Wrestling made him.

BUDDY LANDELL QUOTE OF THE WEEK:

"I'll poke your eye balls out and blow wind through your skull baby! I said it!"

DISUADE ME FROM JOINING THE CHAIN

MEMPHIS 88

Shaun Baxter vs. Blue Knight. Robert Fuller comes out and says young Baxter might be stud stable material. That’s high praise indeed. He says that Shaun reminds him of Rod Stewart, who I suppose in 1988 was one of those British rock dinosaurs making it big in 80’s America. He’s got big blonde hair but doesn’t have a big nose or sit next to Sean Connery or Billy Connolly at Hampden Park when Scotland have a big game. One guy who’s already a paid up member of the stable, Gary Young, strolls out in grey pants and black blazer suit combo that only he could get away with. The other stable members, Don “The Singing Cowboy” Bass and stable valet Sylvia also come out. For a singing cowboy Don Bass doesn’t sing that much. He sometimes comes out on TV holding a guitar but that’s about it. After Baxter beats the Blue Knight and the teenage girls are finished screaming Fuller offers him a place in The Studs Stable. Baxter says he doesn’t want to join and doesn’t think the fans would want him to join. The teenage girls scream in agreement at this last statement. Baxter walks away from the stable members and makes his way to the back. Rule 207 of wrestling: Never turn your back on Robert Fuller. The Tennessee Stud attacks and throws Baxter into the ring post. Baxter’s no Tommy Rich so unfortunately no sweet, sweet blade action is involved. The white TV studio floor is made for blade jobs and pools of blood, one day Shaun Baxter will learn this. Gorgeous Gary Young holds Baxter as Fuller punches him in the face. Billy Joe Travis and Scott Steiner run out to make the save.

I watch this and make quick, little weird notes filled with abbreviations and shorthand. Due to my laziness I usually write about it properly (that made me laugh) a week or so later. The next match is Max Payne & Tom Brandi vs. Gary Young & Don Bass. Anyway, I wrote BB attacks DQ. Now BB is obviously the world wide known initials of Brickhouse Brown but I’ve spent the last 5 minutes trying to work out who DQ is. Then it suddenly struck me, DQ = disqualification. Oh, how we laughed. So yeah, Brickhouse attacks Payne and it’s a disqualification. El Hijo Del Rod Stewart (Shaun Baxter) makes the save. He should have had a bloody bandage on his head but alas he didn’t. I think he dropkicked Brickhouse out the ring but my mind might have just made that up.