Yep it's that time of the week again folks for another match from the archives of the man, the myth, the legend that is Paul Lee. When I say time of the week grapple fans I mean time of the year or biyearly as the last one of these humdingers was 7th April 2008. I had to google what the word was for every two years and askoxford.com told me it was biyearly. Not sure about that, I probably got unlucky and instead of asking an Oxford professor I got some drunk sitting on a park bench or Oxford Utd's star centre forward whoever he may be in 2010. If it was 1985 it would have been John Aldridge and I wouldn't trust him to give me the right answer. Dean Saunders maybe.
Anyway, it's back, Paul Lee Watch and all I had to do was put a Smoky Mountain DVD in my DVD player and away we go. Jesus H Christ, he's up against the Heavyweight Champion Brian Lee!! Dutch Mantell mentions that Paul might well be Brian's illegitimate child which made me chuckle. Our hero points to Brian's belt, PAUL LEE WANTS THE TITLE BABY! Sadly I doubt this is a title match as Paul has never ever won a match in Smoky Mountain so I doubt he's the number 1 contender. Brian Lee's music is awesome but I'm still not sure about him as heavyweight champ. He's 6,5 plus but I'm never sure if the locals truly believe in him like they should do, maybe it's because he's from Florida, I don't know. He wins me and them over every now and again, me particularly when all his promos about coming to towns involve him talking about how fit the local women are. This week he talked about the good lookin' women of Benton, Tennessee and how his good friends Tim and GIBSON told him how pretty they were. Getting White Lightnin' Tim Horner's and Rock n' Roll Robert Gibson's seal of approval must surely mean there's some real beauties in Benton!
Paul goes for it early on but ends up getting gorilla pressed by the champ. The flea market Ric Flair then gets control with a rake to the back but then Brian no sells our heroes fierce chops that Jeep Swenson probably taught him to do. Then Paul does what everyone's been waiting for with a perfect Flair turnbuckle bump! He lands on his feet, runs to the next turnbuckle and goes for something high risk that only he and Flair know about but Brian Lee catches him and powerslams him onto the hard, unforgiving canvas. Personally I think Paul's done by now and if I would have been in this Southern School Gym/Armory in 1992 I would have ran to the ring with tears in my eyes, begging the match to be stopped. Thankfully the champ finishes him off with the CANCELLATION, a sort of screwy Razors Edge neck breaker that went a bit wrong but looked all the better for it. Down but not out Paul Lee lives to fight another day and you may read about that day right here soon (2 years time).
Monday, 12 April 2010
Saturday, 13 March 2010
A Message From Our Leader
Hello people of earth stop
I write to you from a new decade stop
Nothing has changed as far as I can tell stop
I still watch wrestling stop
I can't stop stop
I may write about it here again stop
I write to you from a new decade stop
Nothing has changed as far as I can tell stop
I still watch wrestling stop
I can't stop stop
I may write about it here again stop
Friday, 4 September 2009
Tuesday, 4 August 2009
MR BELDING
BOOM!
Oh and Rodney Napper took an hellacious clothesline from Action Jackson on Memphis TV from February 1989. He did his 360 flip and it was beautiful. Painful but also beautiful. Thank you Rodney, I hope in 2009 you can still take a clothesline man.
Thursday, 2 October 2008
No more heroes anymore?
I heard today that my man Joseba Etxeberria has signed a new contract with Athletico Bilbao where he'll play the 2009/10 season for free. I wish I was a Basque so I could play for Bilbao. Ok, they haven't had a lot of success in recent years but the love of the club players like Etxeberria and Guerrero have and the love the fans have for those players is great to see in todays money driven world of football.
For about 5 years now if I'm flicking round the channels and I see Jerry Springer I always have to check it to see if Jamie Dundee's on it. But he never is. Well, until yesterday. This world can't be so bad in 2008 if some dude from England's flicking around the channels and see's a topless Jamie Dundee with a big "EVIL" tattoo on his belly talking about how he's a racist convict and is playing lonely women for cash money and a bed to sleep in when he gets out. Of course he slept with the niece too and her lazy ass skateboarding boyfriend comes out but Ice Ice Baby rips him a new one (although he did gas badly in the process). It's all a work and Dundee and Springer can barely keep straight faces. But who cares it's fun, which I think describes why I like wrestling but it's rarely fun anymore. Dundee and Springer have just transported the Memphis TV Studio into the Springer Studio, Jerry playing a sleazy Lance Russell (he even holds the mic the same way). Anyway, Jamie ends up with the niece and finishes with the line "I ain't rascist, I've got a colour TV". He'll probably be back on the show in another 6 months, maybe as a two timing white supremacist or a Nazi who slept with his sister. How anybody can forget him is beyond me. Wrestling made him.
For about 5 years now if I'm flicking round the channels and I see Jerry Springer I always have to check it to see if Jamie Dundee's on it. But he never is. Well, until yesterday. This world can't be so bad in 2008 if some dude from England's flicking around the channels and see's a topless Jamie Dundee with a big "EVIL" tattoo on his belly talking about how he's a racist convict and is playing lonely women for cash money and a bed to sleep in when he gets out. Of course he slept with the niece too and her lazy ass skateboarding boyfriend comes out but Ice Ice Baby rips him a new one (although he did gas badly in the process). It's all a work and Dundee and Springer can barely keep straight faces. But who cares it's fun, which I think describes why I like wrestling but it's rarely fun anymore. Dundee and Springer have just transported the Memphis TV Studio into the Springer Studio, Jerry playing a sleazy Lance Russell (he even holds the mic the same way). Anyway, Jamie ends up with the niece and finishes with the line "I ain't rascist, I've got a colour TV". He'll probably be back on the show in another 6 months, maybe as a two timing white supremacist or a Nazi who slept with his sister. How anybody can forget him is beyond me. Wrestling made him.
Saturday, 23 August 2008
BUDDY LANDELL QUOTE OF THE WEEK:
"I'll poke your eye balls out and blow wind through your skull baby! I said it!"
DISUADE ME FROM JOINING THE CHAIN
MEMPHIS 88
Shaun Baxter vs. Blue Knight. Robert Fuller comes out and says young Baxter might be stud stable material. That’s high praise indeed. He says that Shaun reminds him of Rod Stewart, who I suppose in 1988 was one of those British rock dinosaurs making it big in 80’s America. He’s got big blonde hair but doesn’t have a big nose or sit next to Sean Connery or Billy Connolly at Hampden Park when Scotland have a big game. One guy who’s already a paid up member of the stable, Gary Young, strolls out in grey pants and black blazer suit combo that only he could get away with. The other stable members, Don “The Singing Cowboy” Bass and stable valet Sylvia also come out. For a singing cowboy Don Bass doesn’t sing that much. He sometimes comes out on TV holding a guitar but that’s about it. After Baxter beats the Blue Knight and the teenage girls are finished screaming Fuller offers him a place in The Studs Stable. Baxter says he doesn’t want to join and doesn’t think the fans would want him to join. The teenage girls scream in agreement at this last statement. Baxter walks away from the stable members and makes his way to the back. Rule 207 of wrestling: Never turn your back on Robert Fuller. The Tennessee Stud attacks and throws Baxter into the ring post. Baxter’s no Tommy Rich so unfortunately no sweet, sweet blade action is involved. The white TV studio floor is made for blade jobs and pools of blood, one day Shaun Baxter will learn this. Gorgeous Gary Young holds Baxter as Fuller punches him in the face. Billy Joe Travis and Scott Steiner run out to make the save.
I watch this and make quick, little weird notes filled with abbreviations and shorthand. Due to my laziness I usually write about it properly (that made me laugh) a week or so later. The next match is Max Payne & Tom Brandi vs. Gary Young & Don Bass. Anyway, I wrote BB attacks DQ. Now BB is obviously the world wide known initials of Brickhouse Brown but I’ve spent the last 5 minutes trying to work out who DQ is. Then it suddenly struck me, DQ = disqualification. Oh, how we laughed. So yeah, Brickhouse attacks Payne and it’s a disqualification. El Hijo Del Rod Stewart (Shaun Baxter) makes the save. He should have had a bloody bandage on his head but alas he didn’t. I think he dropkicked Brickhouse out the ring but my mind might have just made that up.
Shaun Baxter vs. Blue Knight. Robert Fuller comes out and says young Baxter might be stud stable material. That’s high praise indeed. He says that Shaun reminds him of Rod Stewart, who I suppose in 1988 was one of those British rock dinosaurs making it big in 80’s America. He’s got big blonde hair but doesn’t have a big nose or sit next to Sean Connery or Billy Connolly at Hampden Park when Scotland have a big game. One guy who’s already a paid up member of the stable, Gary Young, strolls out in grey pants and black blazer suit combo that only he could get away with. The other stable members, Don “The Singing Cowboy” Bass and stable valet Sylvia also come out. For a singing cowboy Don Bass doesn’t sing that much. He sometimes comes out on TV holding a guitar but that’s about it. After Baxter beats the Blue Knight and the teenage girls are finished screaming Fuller offers him a place in The Studs Stable. Baxter says he doesn’t want to join and doesn’t think the fans would want him to join. The teenage girls scream in agreement at this last statement. Baxter walks away from the stable members and makes his way to the back. Rule 207 of wrestling: Never turn your back on Robert Fuller. The Tennessee Stud attacks and throws Baxter into the ring post. Baxter’s no Tommy Rich so unfortunately no sweet, sweet blade action is involved. The white TV studio floor is made for blade jobs and pools of blood, one day Shaun Baxter will learn this. Gorgeous Gary Young holds Baxter as Fuller punches him in the face. Billy Joe Travis and Scott Steiner run out to make the save.
I watch this and make quick, little weird notes filled with abbreviations and shorthand. Due to my laziness I usually write about it properly (that made me laugh) a week or so later. The next match is Max Payne & Tom Brandi vs. Gary Young & Don Bass. Anyway, I wrote BB attacks DQ. Now BB is obviously the world wide known initials of Brickhouse Brown but I’ve spent the last 5 minutes trying to work out who DQ is. Then it suddenly struck me, DQ = disqualification. Oh, how we laughed. So yeah, Brickhouse attacks Payne and it’s a disqualification. El Hijo Del Rod Stewart (Shaun Baxter) makes the save. He should have had a bloody bandage on his head but alas he didn’t. I think he dropkicked Brickhouse out the ring but my mind might have just made that up.
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