A Message From Our Leader

Hello people of earth stop
I write to you from a new decade stop
Nothing has changed as far as I can tell stop
I still watch wrestling stop
I can't stop stop
I may write about it here again stop

And Candy Came Too

getting high in the Southern air

MR BELDING

BOOM!

Oh and Rodney Napper took an hellacious clothesline from Action Jackson on Memphis TV from February 1989. He did his 360 flip and it was beautiful. Painful but also beautiful. Thank you Rodney, I hope in 2009 you can still take a clothesline man.

No more heroes anymore?

I heard today that my man Joseba Etxeberria has signed a new contract with Athletico Bilbao where he'll play the 2009/10 season for free. I wish I was a Basque so I could play for Bilbao. Ok, they haven't had a lot of success in recent years but the love of the club players like Etxeberria and Guerrero have and the love the fans have for those players is great to see in todays money driven world of football.

For about 5 years now if I'm flicking round the channels and I see Jerry Springer I always have to check it to see if Jamie Dundee's on it. But he never is. Well, until yesterday. This world can't be so bad in 2008 if some dude from England's flicking around the channels and see's a topless Jamie Dundee with a big "EVIL" tattoo on his belly talking about how he's a racist convict and is playing lonely women for cash money and a bed to sleep in when he gets out. Of course he slept with the niece too and her lazy ass skateboarding boyfriend comes out but Ice Ice Baby rips him a new one (although he did gas badly in the process). It's all a work and Dundee and Springer can barely keep straight faces. But who cares it's fun, which I think describes why I like wrestling but it's rarely fun anymore. Dundee and Springer have just transported the Memphis TV Studio into the Springer Studio, Jerry playing a sleazy Lance Russell (he even holds the mic the same way). Anyway, Jamie ends up with the niece and finishes with the line "I ain't rascist, I've got a colour TV". He'll probably be back on the show in another 6 months, maybe as a two timing white supremacist or a Nazi who slept with his sister. How anybody can forget him is beyond me. Wrestling made him.

BUDDY LANDELL QUOTE OF THE WEEK:

"I'll poke your eye balls out and blow wind through your skull baby! I said it!"

DISUADE ME FROM JOINING THE CHAIN

MEMPHIS 88

Shaun Baxter vs. Blue Knight. Robert Fuller comes out and says young Baxter might be stud stable material. That’s high praise indeed. He says that Shaun reminds him of Rod Stewart, who I suppose in 1988 was one of those British rock dinosaurs making it big in 80’s America. He’s got big blonde hair but doesn’t have a big nose or sit next to Sean Connery or Billy Connolly at Hampden Park when Scotland have a big game. One guy who’s already a paid up member of the stable, Gary Young, strolls out in grey pants and black blazer suit combo that only he could get away with. The other stable members, Don “The Singing Cowboy” Bass and stable valet Sylvia also come out. For a singing cowboy Don Bass doesn’t sing that much. He sometimes comes out on TV holding a guitar but that’s about it. After Baxter beats the Blue Knight and the teenage girls are finished screaming Fuller offers him a place in The Studs Stable. Baxter says he doesn’t want to join and doesn’t think the fans would want him to join. The teenage girls scream in agreement at this last statement. Baxter walks away from the stable members and makes his way to the back. Rule 207 of wrestling: Never turn your back on Robert Fuller. The Tennessee Stud attacks and throws Baxter into the ring post. Baxter’s no Tommy Rich so unfortunately no sweet, sweet blade action is involved. The white TV studio floor is made for blade jobs and pools of blood, one day Shaun Baxter will learn this. Gorgeous Gary Young holds Baxter as Fuller punches him in the face. Billy Joe Travis and Scott Steiner run out to make the save.

I watch this and make quick, little weird notes filled with abbreviations and shorthand. Due to my laziness I usually write about it properly (that made me laugh) a week or so later. The next match is Max Payne & Tom Brandi vs. Gary Young & Don Bass. Anyway, I wrote BB attacks DQ. Now BB is obviously the world wide known initials of Brickhouse Brown but I’ve spent the last 5 minutes trying to work out who DQ is. Then it suddenly struck me, DQ = disqualification. Oh, how we laughed. So yeah, Brickhouse attacks Payne and it’s a disqualification. El Hijo Del Rod Stewart (Shaun Baxter) makes the save. He should have had a bloody bandage on his head but alas he didn’t. I think he dropkicked Brickhouse out the ring but my mind might have just made that up.

THIS IS MY ARMY, WE WILL DESTROY YOU (2)

Back by popular demand! The first one of these (Mascherano) was way back in January and tonight for some reason I got the urge to do another one. Who knows, maybe tomorrow I'll do another PAUL LEE WATCH. Who knows!

Anyway, my army needed strengthening, I needed someone else to believe in and that man is Walter Boyd. Do players, MEN, PATHFINDERS like Walter Boyd still exist in the year 2008? Maybe I'm just getting old and romanticizing through the nostalgic mists of time but I don't think they do (I actually know they do but I'll only realise this and find these people of 2008 in about 2018). Do foreign playmakers, wunderkinds still turn up on our shores without a care in the world, getting into trouble while becoming cult heroes for some lower league team who have been starved of entertainers since Bernie Clifton stopped doing his bird routine during the half time interval?

Walter Boyd was one of these men. I once saw a documentary on the Jamaican teams qualifying campaign for the 1998 World Cup. Boyd was trouble, so the people who make the big decisions said. He wasn't one of those nice English chaps, who had turned up on the scene now that it looked like the land of their forefathers might achieve something on the world stage. But the fans loved Boyd. Like all flawed geniuses he got another chance. I think it was a warm up game before the world cup and he delivered with a goal. Now I saw this programme 10 years ago so my brains probably making half of this up but the camera was in the crowd and (this is probably the made up bit) some fan in crazy make up, like a witch doctor or something, looks straight into the camera and shouts "NOW WILL THEY BELIEVE IN WALTER BOYD!" I don't think there needs to be a question mark. The line was definitely spoken, whether it was by a witch doctor type I'm not so sure. That lines stayed with me, in my subconscious for all these years and every so often I say it to my self for completely different reasons.
Walter Boyd's in my army and we will destroy you. Godspeed, you black emperor.