Bushwick Bill quote of the week:

Scarface: They say the Beatles was the biggest.
Bushwick Bill: N*gga fuck Paul and the rest o' y'all.

I love this line, it always makes me chuckle. I wonder if McCartney knows about it, that a midget gangsta rapper is dissing him and his dead moptop comrades (and Ringo). The worlds still waiting for Paul's response. Or maybe he's chicken. Or maybe he knows that the Geto Boys are bigger than the Beatles and Jesus (sorry Bushwick) put together.

Poll Results:

On August 1st 2008 I asked the question "does barley still grow in England?" The response from the sites avid (some would say rabid!) fans was astounding! 50% of you thought barley does still grow in England, while a staggering 50% thought that barley does not still grow in England. Unbelievably we've got a staggering stalemate draw! The total number of people who voted was an astonishing zero. Please keep checking back to the blog in the coming days, weeks, months, years and decades for more exciting polls!!

LANCE RUSSELL QUOTE OF THE WEEK:

"We have not questioned Brickhouse's ability to wrestle, we've questioned his attitude, techniques and some of the things he does in there."

I think he played with a black heart

Does barley still grow in England?

Glasses for Flasks with laser ideas

On Monday 7th July I was supposed to go check out the Memphis 88 to get things right cleaned up like to my previous post. I didn't do this. My muddled post is now the official history of Memphis 88. When the Kangomangs from Sputon 7 kill all humans and take over the earth, this will be all they'll learn about Memphis Studio Wrestling from 1988. The knowledge that Gary Young is taller than you think he is will give great insight into the land that the Kangomangs now rule.

I wrote this little bit about Florida some time ago on a distant planet that you do not know about. It's difficult sometimes, it really is.

Florida 1984 June/July

It’s Gordon’s show. Kevin Sullivan has found the lock. He pulls the Fallen Angel on a chain towards ring side. Young men pull faces at the TV camera, too embarrassed to admit they’ll have nightmares tonight. Sullivan lies on the mat and his minions cover him with snakes. This is pro wrestling. His wrestling ability is an afterthought.

Billy Jack Haynes is very matter of fact in his promos. He tells Solie that he’s the best TV commentator about ten times and keeps saying he’s glad to be here, it’s just an honour to meet Dusty Rhodes and Eddie Graham. Dory Funk’s physical form is in the studio. With his goatee, a lobotomised brother Terry. Gordon tells us he held the World Title for 4 ½ years. A different era, people must have even thought this in 84. Dory’s trying to make Solie believe that he’s been feuding with Dusty elsewhere but Gordon finds this hard to believe. Gordon Solie knows everything.

Billy Jack wanders over to the interview desk and shakes Dory’s hand. He says it’s an honour to meet him and apart from Dusty Rhodes he’s the best athlete he’s met from West Texas State University. Dory slaps him in the face and walks away. Totally understandable.

Dory promo, blue background. They could have put anything on the blue background to jazz this up (and boy does Zombie Dory need jazzing up) like they do in those blockbuster movies, but they didn't. I would have liked to have seen an old episode of The Bill or possibly Hetty Wainthropp Investigates play out behind Dory as he stutters and stumbles through this little easy promo about hating Dusty and Billy Jack. But it's 1984 and neither The Bill or Hetty Wainthropp Investigates have been invented yet. If they had, surely they would have used my idea.

UPDATE - I've just checked IMDB because I am a sad, sad friendless man and it told me that The Bill first hit the screens in the UK on 16th October 1984. Almost but not quite.

Well I hope I don't come top of the class

I didn't go to the Lucha and obviously I wish I did. I read some reviews and Solar and Negro Navarro wrestled each other which makes it even worse. Like they're ever going to come back to England. Anyway.....

I got back into my Memphis 88 viewing Friday night and three days later I'm going to try and remember-review it. I remember telling myself that if I can remember one thing then I'll remember everything because it all builds from this one thing. And imaginary readers that one thing is the Studs Stable strolling into the TV Studio like they owned the joint.

Robert Fuller turned up a couple a weeks ago, I guess to just case the joint. He basically beat the crap out of every babyface worth a beating, especially Jeff Jarrett. This week Fuller turns up with his cousin Jimmy Golden, both wearing awesome matching robes. Fuller's valet Sylvia's there too and Robert says they're looking for people to add to the Stable. The first man they call out is Gorgeous Gary Young, who would have been my first pick too. Since watching Memphis 88 I've realised Young's quality and's also a lot taller than you'd think.

I'm trying to piece this all together in my brain, somewhere Jeff Jarrett had a damn good fight with KEITH ERIC. Lance Russell even mentioned on commentary that Keith never beats anyone. But Jarrett gives Eric loads here, bumping around for him. Shit like this makes me start to like Jeff and that's not good. After the match Lance interviews Jeff, who's completely gassed. Damn, I think I'm getting all this mixed up. Somewhere along the way Tojo Yamamoto returned with a new Japanese wrestler called Senshei. This must have happened before The Studs Stable came out because the next guy they want to recruit is Senshei. Tojo came out and Fuller mentions something about slanty eyes and such. Tojo and his boy obviously won't be joining the Stable.

Now then, next thing I remember is Sylvia smacking Tojo over the head with a kendo stick a few hundred times.

Can't get out of bed

Oh jeez, oh jeez guys. El Hijo Del Santo, Solar 1 and Negro Navarro are wrestling in London and I'm too lazy to go. It's probably a 3 hour train journey but still, SANTITO!!. I hate myself sometimes, I really do imaginary reader, I really do. Next Friday, Saturday and Sunday they are putting on lucha clinics for the good people of Londinium and its environs. Hopefully something changes in my mood-life and I order a ticket because I know I'm going to hate myself forever more if I miss this. NEGRO NAVARRO!

I didn't go to the Santo/Blue Panther shows in Colchester(?) a few years back and I still hate myself because of that. Satanico, Ultimo Guerrero and possibly Olimpico (or maybe Tarzan Boy, I forget) once did some arty lucha thing in a gallery in London a while back too. I feel my life would be infinitely better now if I had seen EL NUMERO UNO RUDO in the whole of Mexico live in person. I'd probably have a beautiful girlfriend and be a millionaire now if I'd breathed the same air as Satanico. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to go watch some Los Infernales matches and dream.